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Okay, here’s the thing: Easter is not a real holiday. It just isn’t. I could leave it at that, but, just for fun, let’s prove the theorem…

First, we’ll need to establish the criteria by which real holidays distinguish themselves from the others. Here are the three I’ve come up with:

1. The holiday celebrates something that we’re all basically forced to acknowledge for one reason or another.
2. The commercialization of the holiday has reached a point where it’s an inescapable part of our popular culture.
3. Schools and most businesses are closed because of the holiday.

By those criteria, then, here are the real holidays:

Continue reading ‘Easter schmeaster…’